| 07.18.2018 – Let me share something to you on a personal level. Rarely would I speak about my life here overseas on a blog. Usually it would be relatable for me than directly that something to do with my current disposition. We as a human community have each individual lives to deal with everyday. They are mostly good days and most us would rather not share the challenges we face on a daily basis.
The things we do to better ourselves have cost and effect. We might offend or hurt anyone close to us, but not taken personally it’s just how we’re not perfect. For those who have been living the dream I’m happy for you nonetheless. But for some who face difficult times like I do we can survive because hope is not lost. |
I have come from a religious country in the Philippines and I can say most believe in faith. I still do but when you live overseas in have faced reality head on you get a better perspective of the world that reality is as real as you can get. I’ve never faced life living in a foreign country this challenging. It opened my eyes to a different perspective and diverse cultures only few people experience in a few weeks during their visits. Australia has taught me how things work in the real world and its not about glamour and experiencing the so called ‘great life.’
Its indeed a struggle when things gets tougher as you live in place where you come unprepared and I came here hoping that it won’t be as tough as I have expected. But it’s true you have to work harder than anyone else because life here is like a competition you have to bring your game and it will test you. I didn’t realize how I was never fully adjusted when reality slammed on my face. I have to make sacrifices giving up the things I got used to in making that change.
In letting go some of these Earthly things I have to reprogram myself mentally and physically. But it took me sometime to adjust and deal with my personal issues. Even before my stay here the first three months prior to taking up my studies a friend noticed that I’m going through depression. Though I don’t believe it but the longer stay proved that it’s evident. My struggle to make a decision and waking up in the middle of the night was one of the symptoms. The slow disinterest in what I used to do and the hinder to making decisions or plans was part of the symptom.
The only thing that kept me from further going to the edge is my writing ability and my random photography in the streets of Adelaide that includes its nearby suburbs. My struggle in studies was also included in those symptoms as much as I have slowly gained interest in the course I have taken it was a struggle to cope with the comprehension. I’m fortunate enough to have a compassionate lecturer who understands what I go through everyday that includes my colleagues who have been very supportive about making it. As much as I have learned during the past twelve months I really appreciate the camaraderie that they’ve shown me.
I really love living in Australia particularly South Australia meeting random politely people in the streets greeting you “Good Morning” or “How are you?” means this is one of the cheerful country in the world. The environment has given me a positive not to be compared with any place in this planet. It helps that I get through everyday knowing even though at my lowest point I know there are others out there that struggle more than just living and I always carry what my mother have told me to be content on what I have, which I’m being hopeful that I’ll get my chance here.
I have to respect also different cultures and people that include their religious views. I know some won’t believe or even be open that depression exists as a clinical illness that can be treated. Some religious communities would say ‘it’s only in your head’, but you also have to respect that not everyone would agree. I’m thankful for the prayers but by being diagnosed with the current mental health don’t mean it’s untreatable or uncommon. Everyone face a lot of things in life I never realized how this has grown and what kept in check was my hobbies and interest.
But the past few months I’ve lost interest in a lot of things and I have to deal with the addiction to collecting. But I have taken maters to reach out to those who believe what I’m going through that understands my current mental health. I’ve called helpline twice and try not to isolate myself to speak with people I’ve known nearby and from back in the Philippines. But it’s really challenging living alone if not for my relatives here who showed kindness and encouragement I’ll probably be in far worse situation.
Now more than ever I know not everyone is not getting any younger like me. So I take control and deal with this now before I get near the edge. I know some who like I said are religious won’t believe or understand that depression is real. I’m really thankful for their prayers but they also have to understand and open their mind this is me taking responsibility for my health. Though I respect their views they also have to respect mine as the reason why certain people take their lives into their own hands because they didn’t reach out and let depression take control of their lives, that they thought they can easily ‘snap out of it.’
I’m taking the courage and responsibility now before it becomes critical. I know some of you won’t understand, but this is the only course of action for me to recover from this struggle I’ve been dealing with for the last decade. I want to move on but I’m stuck and need to get out from it and I still want to continue my studies here not because of dreams in making it here. But I slowly find satisfaction in learning and I know taking steps one at a time will get me back on track. I know I don’t have concrete plans laid ahead, but they say ‘health is wealth.’ If I have poor health my performance to study will hinder the outcome of that process.
I know there’s a difficult road ahead, but I have to try and it’s not about luck this life here is real. I have to do what is best not to fall out further with this depression others have failed to do so.
If you have a friend or family who is going through difficulty and shows signs of depression you can get in touch with the contact numbers below:
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