I'm Not A Star Wars Fan.

12.14.2015 – Do I really need to prove myself that I’m a Star Wars fan? Probably back in the day when Social Media was not invented at that time it only takes to see how enthusiastic a fan you can be. But in this generation you don’t see that anymore and mostly you can see how that unfolds when most people you know weren’t even originally interested in it. Well not until “The Force Awakens” arrive in cinemas less than a few days away.

Sure. I’m not a fan because I don’t show it for what? I’m not even surprise to the thought that most of those who I know now write online are Star Wars fan. I can’t say I’m a fan `cause the first time I did see a Star Wars film was via the home video copy rented by a relative back in 1983.

Yeah the sequel to the 1977 film was the Empire Strikes Back, the copy I saw was that movie and it’s not even a clear one. My memories of seeing it was pretty vague as the Betamax copy was not even an original. I remember not understanding the entirety of that film. I got to know more about Empire through an oversize copy published by Marvel that mom bought for me at the Alemars bookstore branch in Makati in 1985.

I never was that excited actually even owning one of the original action figures produced by Kenner toys (before Hasbro acquired the company in the mid-1990s). Actually it was Luke Skywalker in his iconic Bespin gear from Empire Strikes Back, and this one still have his right hand. I recall buying it at the local market in Sta. Ana where toys back then can still be accessible anywhere unlike now that you can only see in retail and specialty stores.

It was the only Star Wars figure that I own as a child that was stolen from me the following day by a street kid living in a squatter’s area. You can see why I’m not a fan even in my college days never was I excited.

Even if seeing the midnight screening of The Phantom Menace back in 1999 at the newly built Glorietta 4 cinema during that time was not that spectacular. I even had a Darth Maul shirt from a relative in the US which I rarely have worn. But the calendar posters from all six movies from 2006 I really appreciated the interest wasn’t that all much to be desired. I’ve been into group meet-ups with then local Star Wars community, and even hang out with some with them. But I felt being an outsider trying to fit in is not an easy task because I’m not a fan.

I wear a Darth Vader pajama during my last two Christmas vacation and still don’t feel like respecting the real fans. I’ve seen the re-mastered Phantom Menace and still not getting it although the fight scene between Obi-Wan, Quigon-Jinn and Dath Maul was the pinnacle of that film.

I’ve seen enough trailers, sneak peek images of “The Force Awakens” and I don’t feel spoiled nor probably will ever be invited to see it. Because I guess someone put a bad word that I’m not a fan. But did you ever ask yourself if you are fan? I’m sure you don’t know how Boba Fett felt when he was thrown in the Sarlacc pit or ever wonder who actually shot first and the argument would end up that Han Solo did it.

But who gives the f*ck if I’m not a fan probably your childhood is screwed up not remembering having one. As for me I didn’t say I was a fan or a ‘fanboy’, because there are real fans out there that doesn’t need to prove or show them to be in the same group to look ‘cool’ to pretend like everyone.

I’m not a fan but I had a simple childhood and its not some story I made up. I never was a Star Wars fan. I grew up being part of who I was and that’s part of my life what’s yours?

Probably when Star Trek Beyond comes out there will be fans too. But that would be another story to share in 2016 that for sure.